How to deal with Hanukkah stress: 6 tips to stay centered
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Hanukkah is a time for family, festivities, and fun — but it can be stressful too. Get 7 tips for a stress-free Hanukkah and learn how to stay calm amid the chaos.
If you celebrate Hanukkah, you probably have happy memories from your childhood of lighting the menorah, opening presents, and dipping latkes in applesauce. Maybe you were even allowed to have jelly doughnuts at parties or chocolate gelt when you played dreidel.
But as an adult, it’s up to you to create your own magic. Suddenly, you’re the one planning celebrations, buying gifts for the people you love, and balancing it all with your (seemingly never-ending) everyday responsibilities.
If the feeling of being pulled in too many directions during the holiday season is getting you down, you’re not alone. And luckily, it doesn’t have to be this way. Here’s how to keep your sanity during those eight crazy nights.
Why is Hanukkah stressful at times?
Hanukkah is a time of joy, but let’s be honest, the holiday season can be stressful for everyone. Everyone’s exhausted, workplaces are under extra pressure, and it can feel like there’s just not enough time in the day to get everything done, let alone enjoy the moment.
In addition, Hanukkah often involves gift-giving, so if you’re managing tight budgets, the costs can add up quickly. You may also feel pressure to keep up with expectations, such as choosing the “perfect” gifts or preparing a meal your loved ones will remember. Who can enjoy a celebration when you’re anxious about money?
And while gathering with family can be one of the most meaningful parts of Hanukkah, it might also bring challenges. Differing opinions, unresolved conflicts, or the simple stress of hosting relatives can sometimes make the holiday feel tense. If you’re stressed about making everything just right for everyone else, you likely feel stretched thin.
7 tips for a stress-free Hanukkah
If you’re exhausted just thinking about the holidays, remember, Hanukkah doesn’t have to feel like a marathon. With a bit of prep and a focus on what really matters, you can create a celebration that feels joyful and calm. Here are some practical tips to help you stay centered and enjoy the holiday.
1. Plan your Hanukkah events in advance
A great way to reduce holiday stress is preparation. Before Hanukkah begins, map out your plans for each night. Decide which nights will be for family gatherings, which you’ll keep for quiet evenings at home, and whether you’ll attend any special events. Having a schedule will help you stay organized, so you’re not scrambling at the last minute.
Try this: Write a to-do list for each event and tackle tasks in small chunks. You may shop for ingredients a few days early, or get candles for your menorah the week before the holiday begins.
2. Set a budget for the celebrations, and stick to it
Hanukkah doesn’t have to break the bank. Decide ahead of time how much you’re comfortable spending on gifts, food, and decorations and stick to it. Consider going the DIY route for parties and remember that a handwritten note is often more meaningful than an expensive gift. Want more inspiration for mindful spending? Consider these 10 ways to save money and lower stress.
Try this: If you’re hosting, invite your guests to bring dishes to share. Potluck-style gatherings save money and reduce the cooking load.
3. Simplify your gift-giving with new traditions
Gift-giving can easily become stressful, especially if you’re doing it every night of Hanukkah. To keep things simple, suggest a gift exchange within your family, instead of buying for everyone.
You could also agree to focus on meaningful gifts rather than extravagant ones — give something handmade or make a donation to a favorite charity in someone’s name.
Try this: For kids, introduce a “one small gift per night” tradition. It keeps the excitement going throughout Hanukkah without emptying your wallet.
4. Prioritize self-care so you can take care of others
With so much going on, it’s easy to put yourself last during the holiday season. But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential. Make time for something that recharges you every day, like a walk, a quick nap, or ten minutes of quiet breathing. (Here are 20+ self-care practices if you need some inspiration.) When you feel calm and grounded, you’re better able to enjoy the celebrations and support your loved ones.
Try this: You can combine self-care with holiday rituals. Maybe you might sit quietly by the menorah after lighting the candles and take a few deep breaths while enjoying the glow. Or maybe you want to take a few moments to remember loved ones who have passed after reciting a traditional Hanukkah prayer.
💙 In his Radical Self-Care series, Lama Rad Owens shares tools to explore your needs, listen to your body, and really look after yourself.
5. Delegate tasks so everyone gets involved with the preparations
Making Hanukkah a success doesn’t have to be on your shoulders alone: Ask family members to pitch in with tasks like cooking, cleaning, decorating, or organizing games and activities. Sharing the workload helps reduce stress, but also creates special moments to appreciate each other.
Try this: Give everyone a role or task, and turn Hanukkah preparations into a team effort.
6. Set boundaries to protect your energy
If certain events or situations tend to leave you feeling drained, it’s okay to set limits. You don’t have to attend every gathering or activity, so give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from conversations that feel overwhelming.
Try this: Practice polite but firm responses, like, “I’d love to join, but I need a quiet night tonight. Let’s catch up soon.” This makes setting boundaries easier when the moment comes.
7. Embrace imperfections with love
Hanukkah is about light, love, and togetherness — not perfection. If the latkes are too greasy, the gifts arrive late, or the decorations don’t seem Pinterest-worthy, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Does this really matter in the bigger picture?” Let go of perfectionism so you’re free to enjoy the beauty of the holiday.
Try this: Laugh at the mishaps, cherish the small joys, and remind yourself that it’s okay if things don’t always go as planned.
💙 In her Relationship With Self series, Tamara Levitt explores the concept of Perfectionism, and the benefits of learning to let go of it.
How to relieve stress during Hanukkah: 6 ways to cope
Even with the best plans to cut down on stress (see tips above), the truth is that you’ll probably still run into some stressful moments during Hanukkah. That’s just how life goes, and it’s totally okay. Here are some simple, effective ways to handle those moments when they come, and get back to enjoying the holiday.
1. Take a breather when things start to feel overwhelming
When the pressure builds, step back and recharge for a moment. Find a quiet corner, and focus on your breath. Try the “4–4–4” technique: breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts. Repeat this for a few minutes, and you’ll feel calmer and more grounded. (Here are seven more deep breathing exercises you can try in a stressful moment.)
Even if you’re hosting, remember it’s okay to excuse yourself for a few minutes if you need to take a break.
2. Reflect on what you’re thankful for
Gratitude can shift your focus away from stress and toward the positives in your life. So when you’re feeling stressed, take a moment to appreciate the good things around you. It could be something as simple as the warm glow of the menorah, a favorite family tradition, or the sound of laughter in your home.
When you gather with your family to light the menorah each night, you could also talk about the things you’re grateful for. It’s a small practice that can bring everyone closer together.
3. Reconnect with the meaning of Hanukkah
In the hustle and bustle of the holiday, it’s easy to lose sight of its deeper meaning. Take a moment to reflect on the holiday’s history to keep perspective. Read or listen to a retelling of the Hanukkah story, and be inspired by its themes of perseverance and gratitude in the challenging moments.
4. Bring mindfulness into Hanukkah
When you light the menorah, take a few moments to watch the flickering flames and focus on the warmth and light they bring. Let this ritual become a moment of calm and presence.
Practice mindfulness during other activities too, like cooking or cleaning. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells around you to stay in the moment and ease your stress. Check out these five ways to bring mindfulness into everyday moments.
5. Lean on loved ones
Sometimes, the best way to deal with stress is to share it with someone you trust. Vent to a friend, partner, or family member about how you’re feeling: they may be able to offer help or simply an ear.
Don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point. Reach out for help as soon as you start to feel overwhelmed.
6. Let yourself take a sensory reset
Soothing your senses can be a powerful way to calm your mind. Sip a warm cup of tea, light a candle with a calming scent, or play soft, relaxing music. Engaging your senses can help shift your focus away from stress and back to the present moment.
If you have kids, include them in a sensory activity, like baking cookies or making simple decorations. It can be a lovely, calm way to spend time together.
Hanukkah stress FAQs
What are some quick mindfulness techniques to use during holiday gatherings?
In all the excitement and preparations for holiday gatherings it’s easy to feel overstimulated or overwhelmed, so have some quick ways to center yourself up your sleeve (even in the middle of a busy celebration!).
Focus on your breath: Try the “4-7-8” method, where you breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for seven counts, and exhale slowly for eight counts. Repeat this a few times to feel calmer.
Use grounding techniques: Quietly observe your surroundings and name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.(Here are 18 more grounding exercises to try.)
Step away for a few minutes: If you feel comfortable, excuse yourself to another room for a few minutes or take a quick walk outside to reset and reduce stress.
How can I involve my family in mindfulness practices during Hanukkah?
Hanukkah is a great time to introduce mindfulness into your family’s traditions. As you light the candles, encourage everyone to sit quietly for a few moments, focusing on the flickering flames. You could even practice a candle meditation as a group for a few moments — here’s a step-by-step guide.
You can invite family members to share something they’re grateful for, or reflect on the meaning of the holiday before reciting the blessings.
Another option? If you’re making latkes or baking cookies together, encourage everyone to notice the textures, smells, and sounds of the process, rather than rushing through it.
Are there specific meditations for Hanukkah?
Meditations can align beautifully with the messages of Hanukkah, and matching your meditation to the season can make it more meaningful. For a light-focused meditation, close your eyes and imagine a small flame inside your chest, representing your inner strength and resilience. With each breath, picture that flame growing brighter, spreading warmth and light through your body. This simple visualization can help you feel grounded and inspired by the holiday’s themes of hope and perseverance.
You might also want to reflect on the blessings in your life during Hanukkah. Sit quietly and think of all the things you’re grateful for—no matter how small—so you shift your focus away from stress and toward the joy of the holiday.
How do I destress while prepping for Hanukkah?
Prepping for Hanukkah can feel like a lot, especially if you’re trying to juggle cooking, decorating, and organizing your family’s activities. The secret to feeling less stressed is to break your tasks into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them one at a time.
Instead of trying to do all your shopping, cooking, and cleaning in one day, spread those tasks out over a few days or even weeks. Make sure you get help, too. Write a simple to-do list and prioritize the most important items first, then make sure everyone in the family has a job to do. When everyone pitches in, you’ll feel closer — and less overwhelmed.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to take shortcuts when you need to. Buy frozen latkes or stop by a bakery for doughnuts — you’ll save time and energy without taking away from the joy of the holiday.
Can mindfulness help with sleeplessness during the holidays?
If you find yourself lying awake at night during the busy holiday season, mindfulness can help you get the rest you need.
Try a simple bedtime meditation, where you focus on your breath, taking slow, deep inhales and exhales. You can also use progressive muscle relaxation, where you tense and release each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head (here are eight steps to practice on your own). This practice can help release physical tension and signals to your body that it’s time to rest.
When your mind is filled with holiday to-dos or worries, getting your thoughts out on paper can help you let go of them for the night, so note them all down in a journal. Next, add a gratitude list, jotting down a few positive moments from your day so you end on a positive, calming note.
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